Sunday Post | Pissy Week

September 25, 2016 Sunday Post 16

Sunday Post

The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted by Kimba @Caffeinated Book Reviewer. Basically it’s a chance to talk about the books you bought, borrowed, blogged about, and read for the week and what’s coming in the week ahead – and then share them with a much wider blogging community. Check out the details here.

News at Home-Pissy Week

LOL! That title makes it sound like I had a bad week, and I so didn’t. I just had a lot of things happen that left me feeling really pissed off. And what’s really frustrating is that they were all situations where I felt like I had to hold my tongue. I hate that!

One situation, I actually should have spoke up but didn’t to keep the peace. But after talking to a couple co-workers, we decided the subject needed to be broached and we’ll be bringing it up at next week’s meeting. Here’s the situation. At our team PLC meeting, we were talking about our behavior concerns and one of my co-workers brought up a problem she was having with one student kissing another. Already I’m objecting to her approach to dealing with it because, while no – we don’t kiss people at school – they’re kindergartners, let’s not sexualize it! Kids that come from affectionate homes don’t necessarily understand that you can’t kiss just anyone you care about. But it got worse when it turns out the kissing is one boy kissing another. Again, she’s absolutely right to tell him he can’t do that at school. But she took it too far when she said, and I quote… “boys aren’t meant to be kissing boys.”!!!!

Y’all my whole body went rigid and I got so pissed. Which is why I didn’t say anything. I knew I’d be inappropriate in the heat of the moment. And thankfully the AP immediately interrupted her and said, “well, now we can’t be saying that. We could offend parents, because every household has their own view on things.” While I’m glad she put a stop to it and it was enough to make me stop at the moment, I really felt like the response wasn’t strong enough. This isn’t about offending parents. This is about teaching love versus teaching hate! It’s 2016 and it’s 100% legal in the US for boys to kiss boys – to marry, etc. And here she is a teacher, responsible for the formative years of a child and she may have just said something that will make this child grow up thinking it’s not okay and to hate gay individuals. Worse yet, what if he is gay? Maybe she’s just sown those seeds of doubt that could make it that much harder for him to accept who he is?

I don’t think she meant harm by it, but I also don’t think it should be left at “you could offend parents.” Hell, you could offend the people sitting here in the room with you!! And thankfully, I wasn’t the only one offended. One of my coworkers, who was sitting with me during the meeting, approached me afterwards and asked if I was ok. She said she’d felt me tense up and, because we’ve talked a bit, she knew my brother was gay and knew that I was probably pretty upset by the statement. She did speak up a little in the meeting, but also held back, trying to keep the peace. While we were talking, another of our coworkers came into my room and said, “ya’ll that shit was not okay! We need to say something. Please tell me you agree.” Phew! So here’s the deal – the three of us who were talking – we’re the three new teachers. So we’re all still testing the waters. But as we talked we agreed that this isn’t a testing the waters issue. This is a doing the right thing versus the wrong thing issue. So we’re going to talk to the AP on Monday, together and then from there hopefully we’ll be able to have a calm conversation with the team about why it’s such a big issue. Wish me luck! It’s such a great place to work, so I’m hoping they’ll respond like I expect them to.

Blog News

I started my new feature yesterday – Books from Kinderland. I’m really excited about it and the logo Michelle made me. Isn’t it great?
kinderland
I’ll be talking about the books I read in class from a teacher’s perspective, as well as books that I’m reading about teaching Kinders.

I’m excited to get started on Blog Ahead next week – hoping I can get the full 31 days worth of posts because I hate feeling up against it!

#FitReaders Update

After I get paid this week, finally!!!, I will be resuming my gym membership 🙂 Can’t wait to start doing yoga and resuming zumba!

Last Week on the Blog

This Week on the Blog Look For:

Sunday

Sunday Post | Pissy Week!

Monday

It’s Monday, What are You Reading?

Tuesday 

Ten books on my fall TBR

Wednesday 

Midnight Marked #review

Thursday

Can you Stop anywhere?

Friday 

Just a few Half-moon Hollow Books I read | Pt 3

Saturday

Get Even by Gretchen McNeill | My TBR List Review & October 2016 Voting (I’m combining because I didn’t manage to finish my book in time)

How was your week?

Berls was feeling Pissy this week. See why and if you'd be pissy! Click To Tweet Follow on Bloglovin

Berls

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About Berls
Berls has been a book lover her whole life. She reads pretty much every genre and is currently working hard at making her childhood dream of becoming an author come true. She loves sharing her thoughts about books, blogging, and just random fun stuff. She's a challenge and read-a-thon junkie, so it's no wonder that she loves co-hosting the COYER reading challenge. Leave a comment, Berls is always happy to chat!

16 Responses to “Sunday Post | Pissy Week”

  1. Bookworm Brandee

    Oh, I’d definitely be pissy over that, Berls. And I hope things went well in the meeting when you 3 broached the subject again. That is something that has to be handled carefully because, as you said, she may have planted seeds that could grow into big issues later. Grrr! My fingers are crossed that the conversation was a productive one.
    And I hope this week is going well!! I’m playing catch-up. It seems it’s my constant state of being, you know? Today is Jax’s 14th birthday and I just can’t believe my baby is 14!!! LOL After I finish commenting here, I have to go make a chocolate pie. 😀
    {{{hugs}}}
    Bookworm Brandee recently posted…Books & Crafts #6 ~ #Bookblogger #CraftCircleMy Profile

    • Berls

      Aw wow! Happy birthday Jax! I hope it was a great day for him and yum! Chocolate pie is the best 🙂

      So the conversatuon hasn’t happened yet. We went to talk to principal but she was swamped in meetings. We may just bring it up at the meeting before talking to the principal at this point. Fingers crossed it goes well!

  2. Jen Twimom
    Twitter:

    HUGS, sweetie! I’ve been wondering how everything was going. I’ve been offline for a couple weeks, and I’ve missed reading your weekly updates. I’m hoping that beyond this negative occurrence, that your new school is still a great fit for you. And I’m glad you have support and will say something at the next meeting. Hopefully it can be a good conversation starter on how to talk to kids appropriately w/out hurting feelings or discriminating. Good luck! And YEA! back to the gym for you!!
    Jen Twimom recently posted…Review: The Goal by Elle KennedyMy Profile

    • Berls

      Things are going extremely well *knocks on wood * nothing is perfect, and I feel like this issue will be resolved ok. I think the teacher isn’t meaning harm, shes just not thinking. And if that’s the case, hopefully she’ll be receptive and not defensive.

  3. Literary Feline (Wendy)

    I feel for you, Berls. I can see you would be hot about that. I remember my daughter once or twice making a comment about only girls and boys marrying each other, not a girl and girl or boy and boy, and I was quick to correct her. My husband just chuckled at me. Better to teach them young, right?

    My coworker had a note sent home from kindergarten because her son had hugged another student in the class. This was years ago. But even then, there was concern that it might be construed as sexual harassment. Isn’t that crazy?

    Unfortunately, my own experience with a child kissing another child wasn’t so innocent, however. This past summer there was a situation with a boy at my daughter’s daycare/school. It started off seemingly harmless. A boy going around kissing the girls, including my daughter. Then it was hands under the girls’ shirts. When I learned he pushed my daughter down despite her protests, straddled her and lifted her dress to kiss her stomach, I was pretty upset. Internally, I went back and forth with myself about whether I was overreacting or if my feelings were justified. I was more upset about the supervision or lack there of, really. Fortunately, my daughter wasn’t traumatized (although she knew the boy got in “big trouble”, and I did my utmost to make sure I didn’t turn it into a traumatic event. I made sure measures were put in place at her daycare to make sure something like that didn’t happen again. I had no say in what the parents did, but they, at least, seemed to have many necessary talks with their son. And I stepped up my effort to teach my then four year old daughter how she could defend herself if running away and seeking help wasn’t an option.

    I am so excited about your new feature! I will definitely be checking it out. 🙂

    I hope you have a great week, Berls!
    Literary Feline (Wendy) recently posted…From the Archives: A Blogging Retrospective – September 2006My Profile

    • Berls

      Yikes! That is something else entirely and you were absolutely right to be upset. It still may not have been sexual (hopefully not) but he crossed so many boundaries! It’s amazing how fast something like that can happen. I try to be aware of what all my kids are doing, but sometimes you just can’t have your eyes on all 22 kids at once. I’m glad it sounds like the parents took it seriously too!

  4. Melanie Simmons
    Twitter:

    I’m sure that is really hard, being a new person and wanting to step up and call out sensitive ideas. I’m glad you have some people who will help you back it up. I agree that sowing the seeds of doubt at this age would be really harmful for the child, especially if he is gay. But, it could also form the hatred of gays, if he isn’t. Good luck with that. I hope that everything works out. I love the new idea about the kids books and love the logo. 🙂
    Melanie Simmons recently posted…Wild Embrace Audiobook by Nalini Singh (REVIEW)My Profile

    • Berls

      It’s tough but so important I think. I just think I have a moral obligation at this point, beyond my obligation as a teacher. Thanks, hope all goes well!

  5. Kathryn Trask

    Well I had to click over when I saw the title of the post!! Yes, you need to point it out about the kissing message. Most likely right when you say she didn’t mean anything by it, but totally wrong message she was giving all the same. Our world is changing, and anyway what’s wrong with guys kissing even non sexually!! Go girl. Although I get the school bit.
    Kathryn Trask recently posted…Echoes of Family. Barbara Claypole WhiteMy Profile

  6. Lola
    Twitter:

    It’s frustrating when things like that happen and you know you can’t speak your mind. I can see why that comment of that teacher hit you wrong. I agree you can tell someone not to kiss others at school and explain why, but saying boys can’t kiss boys that just gives that kid all the wrong ideas. And kids pick these things up easy at that age.
    And I agree it’s not about the parents, it’s about teaching love. You can never start too early with that. I definitely agree they should make more of a stand about that, because if that teacher has that view and brings it to over to those kids it sure can be damaging. Glad to hear there were other teachers who felt the same way and agreed with you. I hope you can address the issue next week as I agree it’s something that you should be able to talk about and it’s about doing the right thing and not giving kids the wrong messages.

    I love the new logo for your new feature and just read your first post as part of the feature too, I think it’s a fun idea :). I am also looking forward to blog ahead! Have a great week!
    Lola recently posted…Sunday Post #197My Profile

  7. Greg

    Books from Kinderland looks cute! Looks like a great new feature and Michelle did a great job w/ the graphic. Good luck with the work thing and I hope it all works out with the AP. And have a great week!
    Greg recently posted…Sunday Post #161My Profile

  8. kimbacaffeinate

    Oh Berls your story upset me too. It made me tear up for those children. There is nothing wrong with showing affection with someone of the same sex. This little boy is probably kissed at home by his Dad, grandpa etc. I agree about folks jumping right to “sexual” these are little kids and it shouldn’t have adult situations added to it. It is affection pure and simple. I hope it is addressed. I do understand biting your tongue, I use that practice, and usually gather my thoughts and approach them later. It tends to work better without drama or me losing my shit!
    kimbacaffeinate recently posted…Sunday Post #232 Hello AutumnMy Profile

  9. Lark
    Twitter:

    I don’t blame you for being upset, Berls; I would have been, too. But it sounds to me like you did the right thing at the time by not responding when you knew you’d sound sharp and angry. Bringing it up along with other teachers, when you’re able to present your reasoning calmly and clearly, is likely to be more effective. I hope so, anyway!

    I already told you I love your Books from Kinderland idea. I miss reviewing books for younger children, which I sometimes did when I first started blogging, at least in “best of” lists. I do still read and review the occasional MG book, especially fantasy, but in the last few months I’ve started borrowing and requesting some picture books that look interesting. So I might be doing some children’s book reviews too. (Just wanted you to know I’m not copying you; we just had a similar idea at about the same time. Great minds, maybe?)
    Lark recently posted…Sunday Post – 9/25/16My Profile

  10. Michelle
    Twitter:

    So even boys as friends can’t give a kiss on the cheek to each other? It really isn’t a sexual thing. Boys give their dads kisses. That blows my mind. I can totally see why that would make you upset and not be ok.

    I really can’t seem to form words, I am totally speechless and you know how weird that is for me. lol

    I hope you can straighten it all out, let me know what happens.

    Have a great week, Kim! I MISS YOUR FACE!!!! oxoxox
    Michelle recently posted…Nothing and a Lumpy Dog ~ WIR & TSPMy Profile

  11. Katherine
    Twitter:

    The kissing issue is definitely a tense one. I definitely agree about not sexualizing it because they’re kindergartners! Definitely sounds like a tense situation and I hope it all can be dealt with in a positive manner. I love the idea of Books from Kinderland. My youngest is in 1st grade but we do a lot of reading aloud and I can’t wait to see the books you talk about. Have a great week!
    Katherine recently posted…This Week in Reading – September 25My Profile

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