The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted by Kimba @Caffeinated Book Reviewer. Basically it’s a chance to talk about the books you bought, borrowed, blogged about, and read for the week and what’s coming in the week ahead – and then share them with a much wider blogging community. Check out the details here.
News at Home
Life is so unfair. Incredibly unfair. On Wednesday this past week I talked to one of my best friends. We’ve been best friends for ten years. I’ve mentioned her on the blog. I made her the baby blanket for her daughter that was born in May and the batman for her 5 year old son. I watched her little girl for a week after she was born because her job didn’t give her maternity leave. And Wednesday I made plans to get together with her to celebrate the end of a really rough semester for both of us. Her first semester of law school and my first as a teacher. She was having her last final on Thursday, the next day. Here’s where life gets really unfair. She dropped dead on campus before her final.
I’ve cried more than I thought I could and now I’m angry and numb at all once. I don’t understand how someone so wonderful is gone and a huge part of me just doesn’t believe it. I don’t know how I, or her husband, her sister, her mother, or anyone who knew her and loved her can possibly help her 7 month year old daughter to grow up and have even an inkling of the woman her mother was. And how can we explain to her 5 year old that his mommy, who has NEVER missed 8pm cuddle time, is not tucking him in ever again?
I’m sorry to be so morbid, but this is honestly the ONLY thing on my mind. I almost didn’t post, but sharing thus with y’all – posting my rage and sadness and feeling of cluelessness – helps and so I’m unloading on y’all. Thanks in advance for understanding.
Every time I try to distract myself with a book or TV I come back to her. Everything connects, because she is… Was.. Such a huge part of my life. Every big moment we shared. I’ve lost people before, but they’ve been older or sick and I expected it and it made sense. There is nothing logical about this and I’m so lost and so angry and so… I don’t even have words to describe what I feel. She was 31, healthy, had just begun law school, had a great marriage, 2 wonderful kids, and was working so hard to give her family everything. It’s just so unfair.
My only happiness is that we talked on Wednesday. It’s been a rough semester for both of us, like I said, and we’ve texted tons throughout it. But we hadn’t talked since September. She left me a voicemail Tuesday “Kim I Miss you! Call me when you can. Love you!” If I hadn’t called her back and the last thing I had from her was that voicemail I’d feel like total shit, more so at least, right now. At least we talked the day before she died. It still sucks but at least I have that.
Anyway… Funeral is Saturday. Viewing is Friday night. Not sure I can make viewing since I have gallbladder surgery on Friday. But I’m going unless doctor orders me not to. Even then I don’t know.
We have COYER kick off this weekend and don’t forget to sign up for 2016HW
This Week on the Blog Look For:
Coyer kick off is probably all I’ll do this week.