Life of a Blogger | Family

July 3, 2014 Life of a Blogger 6

Life of a Blogger is a weekly meme hosted by Jessi @ Novel Heartbeat. Each week Jessi chooses a topic (scheduled in advance) that’s not book related so we that we can get to know our fellow bloggers better – and to know more about them than just books. I’m thrilled to join in and I hope to participate every week from here on out. I hope you’ll join in too – check out the details here!

This week’s topic: Family

My family means the world to me – you’ve already read how incredibly close I am to my brother Philip in my siblings post. My family has always been important to me – but I don’t think you realize just how much they matter until you lose them. Forgive me if this post seems a bit rambling or too personal – if you follow my blog you know by now that I tend to be pretty open and family is a pretty personal topic.

I lost my family for seven years and I’ve only had them back – to an extent – for the past three (almost four) years. To make a very long and complicated story as short as possible: we had a huge falling out because of religious differences when I was 19 years old. So we went our separate ways and I won’t lie – I totally had a really hard time with it. I have some really close friends who will always be like family for me because they became my family during that time. I talked to my family three times in those seven years – each time initiated by me. But we were at a stalemate – I couldn’t change my beliefs and their beliefs couldn’t accept mine.

But then something really scary happened with my brother. He almost died. And wild horses couldn’t keep me away. I’d stayed away out of respect for their beliefs, but this was different. And my brother had really been caught up in the mess because he lived with my parents. And so the healing began. For my brother and I it was almost instantaneous – I really doubt anything could ever come between us ever again.

the family

My brother, my mom, Me, and my dad at my graduation. This was one of the first things we did as a family after 7 years and it made my graduation really special.

For my mom and I it was a bit rockier. We’d always had a pretty rough relationship when I was younger, but honestly, now that we’ve finally gotten over that one major hurdle, we’re very close. She seems to understand that I can respect her beliefs without sharing her beliefs. I talk to her almost daily, spend time with her weekly (sometimes multiple times a week) and this October she’s moving in with me. So in a lot of ways, our relationship is better than it ever was.

I don’t know that my father and I will ever be close again. We used to be incredibly close. I remember staying up late at night and just talking with him. Sometimes we’d “sneak out” for an ice cream while mom and Phil slept. I was his Berls (he’s actually the one who called me that the most). So the loss of our relationship has been pretty hard to swallow. But a lot has happened – including an affair and nasty divorce that is pretty hard to align with the father I knew as a kid. And he cant seem to get past the religious issue. So we text every few months and every now and then my brother and I have dinner with him. But now that he remarried, he seems to be gradually pulling away from me more and more. I tell myself that it’s okay – after ten years I’ve adjusted. And mostly that’s true.

So I have my mom and my brother. And then I have the family I’ve built with my Boyfriend of nine years and his son, 14 years old now. And we can’t forget my two years old Taco Terrier – Buffy! I’m actually really close with my BF’s son’s family too – we spend all our holidays with them and a few hours every weekend hanging out at their house.

all the kids

This is from 2010 – Destiny (stepson’s aunt), Franky (stepson), Jesus (setpson’s little brother), and Jr (stepson’s big brother)

Franky and Destiny

Destiny (stepson’s aunt) and Franky (stepson) on beach vacation in 2010.

Mema 2011 Easter

Mema 2011 Easter

The day we got Buffy - August 2012

The day we got Buffy – August 2012

I can honestly say I consider my stepson’s mom, her other two sons, her husband, her mom (affectionately called Mema), and her little sister family. Their youngest son just stayed with us this past weekend, we took her little sister (15 now) on vacation with us, and we’re all planning a family camping vacation later this month. And then you have my Boyfriend’s family. He’s Mexican and has the stereotypically huge family. He’s one of eight kids and, despite a bit of a language barrier, I know them all pretty well and love them. His mom just spent three weeks in town and stayed with us most of those three weeks.

So at the end of the day, I’ve got a huge family that I love to pieces. Tell me about your family!

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About Berls
Berls has been a book lover her whole life. She reads pretty much every genre and is currently working hard at making her childhood dream of becoming an author come true. She loves sharing her thoughts about books, blogging, and just random fun stuff. She's a challenge and read-a-thon junkie, so it's no wonder that she loves co-hosting the COYER reading challenge. Leave a comment, Berls is always happy to chat!

6 Responses to “Life of a Blogger | Family”

  1. Lark

    I’m glad you and your family have been able to reconnect, but so sorry your relationship with your dad is strained. And it’s awesome that you’ve been able to build close relationships with your BF’s family and his son’s family.
    Lark recently posted…Sunday Post – 7/06/14My Profile

  2. Katherine

    That’s great you’re so close with your stepson’s mom. My husband’s ex is really vicious and it’s made things a lot harder than it’s had to be. I don’t want to be friends with but civil would be lovely. They’d been divorced for a year before my husband and I even met so it’s not a other woman situation.
    I’m sorry you haven’t bridged the gap with your dad but it sounds like your attitude is really great about it. It’s nice that you, your brother and your mother have become close again.
    Katherine recently posted…Home for the Homicide – TBR ReviewMy Profile

    • Berls

      I’m closer to her family than her, but we get along and that’s a blessing. I’m sorry your situation is so rough – I can’t imagine trying to take care of kids when there’s so much viciousness. I think we all agree that even when we don’t see eye to eye, Franky (my stepson) is what matters.
      Berls recently posted…Book Blog Walkers Check-in 27 and 28My Profile

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