Life of a Blogger is a weekly meme hosted by Jessi @ Novel Heartbeat. Each week Jessi chooses a topic (scheduled in advance) that’s not book related so we that we can get to know our fellow bloggers better – and to know more about them than just books. I’m thrilled to join in and I hope to participate every week from here on out. I hope you’ll join in too – check out the details here!
This week’s topic: Family
My family means the world to me – you’ve already read how incredibly close I am to my brother Philip in my siblings post. My family has always been important to me – but I don’t think you realize just how much they matter until you lose them. Forgive me if this post seems a bit rambling or too personal – if you follow my blog you know by now that I tend to be pretty open and family is a pretty personal topic.
I lost my family for seven years and I’ve only had them back – to an extent – for the past three (almost four) years. To make a very long and complicated story as short as possible: we had a huge falling out because of religious differences when I was 19 years old. So we went our separate ways and I won’t lie – I totally had a really hard time with it. I have some really close friends who will always be like family for me because they became my family during that time. I talked to my family three times in those seven years – each time initiated by me. But we were at a stalemate – I couldn’t change my beliefs and their beliefs couldn’t accept mine.
But then something really scary happened with my brother. He almost died. And wild horses couldn’t keep me away. I’d stayed away out of respect for their beliefs, but this was different. And my brother had really been caught up in the mess because he lived with my parents. And so the healing began. For my brother and I it was almost instantaneous – I really doubt anything could ever come between us ever again.
For my mom and I it was a bit rockier. We’d always had a pretty rough relationship when I was younger, but honestly, now that we’ve finally gotten over that one major hurdle, we’re very close. She seems to understand that I can respect her beliefs without sharing her beliefs. I talk to her almost daily, spend time with her weekly (sometimes multiple times a week) and this October she’s moving in with me. So in a lot of ways, our relationship is better than it ever was.
I don’t know that my father and I will ever be close again. We used to be incredibly close. I remember staying up late at night and just talking with him. Sometimes we’d “sneak out” for an ice cream while mom and Phil slept. I was his Berls (he’s actually the one who called me that the most). So the loss of our relationship has been pretty hard to swallow. But a lot has happened – including an affair and nasty divorce that is pretty hard to align with the father I knew as a kid. And he cant seem to get past the religious issue. So we text every few months and every now and then my brother and I have dinner with him. But now that he remarried, he seems to be gradually pulling away from me more and more. I tell myself that it’s okay – after ten years I’ve adjusted. And mostly that’s true.
So I have my mom and my brother. And then I have the family I’ve built with my Boyfriend of nine years and his son, 14 years old now. And we can’t forget my two years old Taco Terrier – Buffy! I’m actually really close with my BF’s son’s family too – we spend all our holidays with them and a few hours every weekend hanging out at their house.
I can honestly say I consider my stepson’s mom, her other two sons, her husband, her mom (affectionately called Mema), and her little sister family. Their youngest son just stayed with us this past weekend, we took her little sister (15 now) on vacation with us, and we’re all planning a family camping vacation later this month. And then you have my Boyfriend’s family. He’s Mexican and has the stereotypically huge family. He’s one of eight kids and, despite a bit of a language barrier, I know them all pretty well and love them. His mom just spent three weeks in town and stayed with us most of those three weeks.
So at the end of the day, I’ve got a huge family that I love to pieces. Tell me about your family!